


Half Empty or Half Full; Either Way It's Just 1/2

by monstrousnyx



Series: Half Empty or Half Full; Either Way It's Just 1/2 [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, American Sign Language, Canon Atypical Violence, Flashbacks, Gen, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sign Language, Slow Burn, WHAT I MEAN IS i wont be rewriting anybody's backstory, and this will be a headcannon heavy work, eventually, i honestly don't know how to tag this yet??, i know he's just kind of funny in the games but ya know what fuck it, intimidating xemnas, other tags will go up with chapters basically, overly descriptive powers, seriously i love making the powers and stuff feel alien, there will be more, though im not abandoning canon except for plot elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-11-24 00:55:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18159317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monstrousnyx/pseuds/monstrousnyx
Summary: You awake, immobile and exhausted, on what at leastfeelslike a bed. You don't know, though, how much time passes while you lay there. You hear voices sometimes, they say things like “This is abnormal,” and, “it may be totally hollow.”Sometimes you hear arguments regarding whether the space should be wasted on “it,” with a deep, slow-speaking baritone always reaffirming that “every member matters,” and “he is useful to our cause.”None of itmeansanything to you. Instead, you can feel blood rushing in your ears and you cantastemore thanheara voice telling you to wake up.---So ya'll remember those self-insert fics from back when like KH2 and KHDays came out? Anyway I guess cringe culture killed them or something so here I am. Contributing. This first chapter is a test to gauge for interest. Also yes. I know. I'm the King of short chapters. There will just be a Lot of chapters. (Not that this is gonna be hellaciously long or anything....) Also just a heads up, 'You' are more of uh. An OC. It's just marked reader insert because it's second person. If you care, You are nb (he/they) and use sign language sometimes.





	1. a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy folks! Yeah, this is just an experiment at the moment. Chapter 2 is already finished and should go up soon (after editing), but after that idk if I'll continue! Just depends on inspiration and interest. Have fun!!

You awake, immobile and exhausted, on what at least _feels_ like a bed. You don't know, though, how much time passes while you lay there. You hear voices sometimes, they say things like “This is abnormal,” and, “it may be totally hollow.”

Sometimes you hear arguments regarding whether the space should be wasted on “it,” with a deep, slow-speaking baritone always reaffirming that “every member matters,” and “he is useful to our cause.”

None of it _means_ anything to you. Instead, you can feel blood rushing in your ears and you can _taste_ more than _hear_ a voice telling you to wake up.

The first thing you notice once you realize you that are alive is that there is a throbbing pain behind your eyes. The second is a roiling feeling of unease deep in the pit of your stomach that tells you something is wrong about this place. You should be somewhere else but you're not - but _you're not_ , and _he's waiting for you_ , _and_ -

The passage of time doesn't quite seem to stick to you in the days when you first wake up; you wander absently, trying to leave, trying to understand the broken thoughts that sit heavy and thick in your mind.

Eventually your thoughts become clearer and you learn how to speak. 

(It feels foreign, anyway.)

Once you appear to be cognizant, you are brought to what you can only describe as a throne room. There, several black-cloaked figures sit high above your eyes. Some seem attentive, while others look downright bored.

You are told, ‘Your name is Virrex.’ It doesn't feel quite right but you find you don't terribly mind the discomfort. 

After that, you are shown to your room. A boring affair, with white walls and minimalist white furniture. You are told to report to Saïx, a blue haired man who would be waiting in a room in _that_ direction, when you are ready. 

You walk around the room, examining the furniture, thinking to yourself that it's not quite right, and you'll rearrange some things later. You are struck with the realization that you should probably know more about yourself than you do. But, you don't seem to mind the anxiety, either. 

You find yourself vaguely remembering the layout of this...place, from your wanderings before. You make your way to the room and find the man described to you standing in the back, a few others about the room as well. 

None of them concern you at the moment, although the sound of a stringed instrument catches your ear. 

As you approach, you are met with a boring stare, from the same golden eyes most of the individuals here seem to have. Eventually his gaze clears and he double checks his papers before speaking.

“You are assigned to training with Number II, Xigbar, today. He should be about the room _some_ where,” he gestures vaguely. After staring at you for a moment more, he sighs and adds, “Look for the eyepatch,” at which point he goes back to his paperwork and seems to be trying to ignore you.

When you find him (definitely not in that room), he's examining a courtyard. When he notices you, he gives you a look more intense than the last one you recieved, but it ends after only a moment, being replaced with a carefree expression which doesn't suit his face at all.

“So, sweetheart, what do you already know?" 

You shake your head and make a gesture with your hand like a zero. Sometimes the signs are more forthcoming than the words. 

He seems to understand and gives a bit of a rude laugh. “Well I got two lessons for ya, doll, but we might need to start with the _basics_.”


	2. a Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand here's chapter two! Chapter one is written a bit. disorderly simply because Your thoughts are confused, so this chapter is more indicitive of hiw the rest of the story will be written. Enjoy! And let me know what you think!!

Xigbar stands in front of you in the barren courtyard. Obvious scars mark the land as a battleground, and you have no idea what awaits you, if those are any indication of how strong these people are. And you think  _ he _ is Number _ II _ .

He doesn't wait to regain your attention before sweeping his hand out in front of himself. It doesn't matter, as a strange warbling sound draws your attention to the small black puddles, shifting along the ground.

In the same moment that the small black creatures emerge from the ground, you sign with one hand, pointing at your chest then a zero, [HEARTLESS], and reach back with the other out of instinct, as if to grab a weapon.

Your fingers close around only air, though, and panic sets in. You can almost feel a memory begin to surface, 

(shadows circling around you, closing in,)

when -

“Hey!” the rough voice snaps you back to reality, the creatures gone. Xigbar now holds an arrow-gun in each hand. “Know more than you let on, huh, sweetheart?”

You hold up your little finger, then point to your head with your thumb, bringing your hand down and shaking your head wildly. [I DIDN'T REMEMBER]. You fidget with your fingers after you finish, not sure if you should say more. You don't really know, or remember?, what ‘heartless’ is. You don’t know why you know that sign.

He studies you for a moment before shrugging. “Nahh. You? A mastermind or somethin’? As if. You mighta known what a heartless was, but you couldn't even summon a weapon, and  _ those _ little guys freaked you out.

“Well then,” he scratches the back of his head, “I don’t really  _ care _ much for doin’ all the explainin’, so if you’d rather, we can just get to the practical lessons?”

You nod, and change your stance to match his.

He waves one of the guns in his hands before making them disappear into darkness. “So, as a Nobody, you have a weapon, and a power. I’m supposed to teach you to learn what those are and how to use them. For me, of course, my power is like breathing. So we’re gonna start with your weapon.

He pulls his weapons easily back out of the darkness. “Now you try. You may not know the shape of it yet, but seeing as you were grabbing for something when you were startled, I’m willin’ to bet you’ve fought before. Just try to tap into that, and pull it to you through the darkness. Simple, right doll?”

You nod slowly, trying to think of a way to remember how it felt before without drawing yourself back into the panic. Your eyes fall closed in your deep concentration. You can almost - sense - something -

(A weapon meant for two hands; a long pole; a lethal end; pulling it out-)

You feel something cold and almost wet in the palm of your hand, and focus on the feeling, opening your eyes to see a few specks of that darkness swirling about.

It fizzles into nothing but now you’ve got the hang of it. You look up to see if Xigbar approves of your progress, but don’t see him - at first. Continuing to look up, you see him hanging upside down several feet in the air above you.

He smirks. “Figured I should get out of the way; with that intense look on your face I thought you might whack me!”

You feel embarrassed for half a second before you realize you actually  _ don’t _ .

You close your eyes again, bring yourself to that place and time -

(holding it out in front of you; watching the sunlight glisten on the blade; you can hear something, a voice, someone you  _ need _ to protect-)

Your legs swing into the stance that feels natural as you feel that cold spot growing in your palm. You reach for the shaft of it with your other hand, willing the coldness to grow, to expand.

When you open your eyes this time you are greeted by a spear. Perhaps oversized, and a little cartoonish in design, but it is yours; you can feel a connection to it deep within.

Xigbar drops casually to the ground in front of you to examine your new weapon. He whistles when he examines the head.

Then, abruptly, he jumps backward, landing on the air.

“Gravity,” he explains, “loves me.” He summons and draws up his own weapons. “Show me what you got!” is all the warning you get before he starts firing on you.

It doesn't seem to matter, though - you can  _ feel  _ where he's going to move and pull your spear up to block - except knowing where he was about to fire doesn't allow you to  _ move _ faster, and small ‘bullets’ made of darkness impact the side of your face, not causing any more pain than a needle prick. You bring your hand up and find there is no blood, either.

You look up and see that crooked smirk plastered on his face. He's going easy on you.

He seems to be waiting on  _ you _ to make the next move, so you slowly circle around him, your spear in front of you in case he starts firing suddenly. His single eye follows you as you strafe past him, but he doesn't turn when you get to his blind spot. You're sure it won't be so simple, but a moment after you've skunk past his range of vision, you lunge quickly toward him.

You expected him to block or dodge, logically, but before he even moved you could  _ feel _ him behind you. You spin around before even completing your lunge and wind up nearly falling.

Your feet struggle to keep pace as you turn, and you leave your front open to attack, using your spear as a crutch to keep from losing your footing.

You expect him to open fire on your chest, but he stands still in front of you. Once you catch your breath you realize your hair is in your eyes, and bring both palms up to frame your hair then mimic tying a knot. [HAIRTIE?] You tilt your head and hold out a hand.

He laughs at you yet again and tosses you a spare. After you tie up your hair, you take a downward swipe toward his legs.

You clearly manage to catch him off guard, but he simply warps away.

You're starting to understand his power; maybe there's more he can do, but for now at least he seems content floating and warping.

You watch each other for several long moments and he makes the first move, teleporting, you can feel it, to the right, then firing.

In the second it takes him to disappear and reappear, you spin to that side, blindly holding the spear where it would cover as much of you as possible.

Most of the bullets are actually deflected by your spear, and both of you seem confused by this.

He warps again, right in front of you and cocks his head. “Figure somethin’ out, doll?”

Your hands flap wildly and quickly, trying to explain what you're experiencing.

He holds up his hands as if in surrender. “Whoah, slow down there kid, I'm not clairvoyant.”

You open your mouth and manage to croak out, “clairvoyant….” You gesture to yourself and explain yourself more slowly this time.

He whistles again, stroking his face. “So you can sense what's about to happen? Sweet power. If you can figure out how to use it on command….” He trails off then snaps his head back up to look you in the eyes. “I think trainin's about done here. I don't think these,” he wiggles an arrow-gun, “are very compatible with your fighting style. Maybe I'll get to teach you to use your ability better, though.”

He has a shit-eating grin on his face, like he just found something  _ fun _ , and you almost debate trying to take another swing at him, to catch him fully off guard this time, but instead you drop your weapon, letting the darkness take it back.

“Lets go talk to the boss man about your progress.”


	3. the Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i WAS gonna sit on this till tuesday and try to attempt a somewhat consistant update schedule but i'm actually not physically capable of doing that without editing it to death SO heres new content. ya'll coment if you want !

As Xigbar ushers you to a room somewhere inside the - after seeing it from the outside you want to describe it as a castle? -  _ building _ , you study him. Older than most of the figures you've seen around, with a nasty scar across his face and neck. There's the eyepatch too - it's not that you think it would be  _ rude  _ to ask, but you don't know that he would tell you how he got it at this point.

But he has skill, and talent, and plenty of experience, you're willing to bet.

And…he has that golden eye. Not  _ everyone _ here does, but enough that it makes you a bit curious. You've managed to glimpse your own reflection once or twice, and you have them too. It doesn't seem quite right, but your shaggy orange hair feels normal, at least.

He barges on in to a room that looks like a sparsely decorated office, with the blue-haired man from before, Saïx, and the white-haired man with copper color eyes who you know as Superior.

Saïx glares down Xigbar but doesn't make a move or open his mouth. Your Superior simply nods his head for Xigbar to go on, a bored expression on his face.

“So, Boss, you assigned me to train this kid but, like,  _ as if _ . He's not very compatible with me in combat. His ability's pretty handy though.” He gives a firm press to your back, as if to tell you to speak.

Before you do, though, the white-haired man smiles warmly at you. “I had said he would be useful to our cause, hadn't I, Number VII? Tell us, XIII. What ability have you unlocked?”

You sign as you speak, out of some habit that must be stronger than whatever keeps your memories at bay. “I seem to have the ability to... _ sense _ my opponents’ movements on the battlefield. Before they happen,” you add hastily, suddenly worried what would happen if you turn out to be less useful than they'd hoped.

He nods for you to go on, but you don't have anything left to say. Xigbar speaks for you.

“He's managed to summon his weapon as well, but it seems he's a bit more shell-shocked than they usually are. Doesn't know a thing.”

“Well,” he says, that smile still plastered on his face, “Allow me the pleasure of telling you all about our  _ glorious _ purpose,  _ Virrex _ .” His tone makes you feel just a bit uncomfortable, you can tell he's trying to sweet-talk you. “You, and I, and all of the members of this organization are  _ Nobodies _ . Leftovers, from those who died with a strong will - a lingering purpose.

“Those  _ Somebodies _ leave behind a heart, which is consumed with darkness and becomes a  _ heartless _ . The body is left behind, but if the  _ will  _ is strong enough that person's soul will remain. Thus creating a  _ Nobody _ , a sad husk without a heart. Unable to feel - only to remember what it was like to be whole.”

You believe his words when you realize you don’t feel concern regarding the possibility. So...you died? You suppose that makes sense, sort of. It must be why you don’t remember anything; why you just suddenly woke up here to a new name.

The smug smile on his face tells you he’s enjoying watching you realize he’s right. You may not be able to feel  _ most _ things, but something about this man definitely makes you feel... _ something _ .

It doesn’t feel natural.

“Our goal here, the reason I have brought you all together, is so that we can be  _ recompleted _ . So that we may go back to living our  _ lives _ .” His smile is just as grand as the gesture he makes with his hands, and his rumbling tone almost convinces you to believe him.

Not like it matters. You don’t feel anything. You don’t  _ want _ anything. You may as well work for this man until or unless you find something you’d rather do instead.

“Well, XIII. II. You are dismissed.” He levels his gaze directly onto you. “Keep up the good work.”

You feel Xigbar’s hand on your shoulder just after, turning you and leading you out of the room. The look on  _ his _ face is indecipherable.

Bereft of anything better to do, you end up following Xigbar throughout the monotonous hallways for several long minutes in silence, ruminating on what you had just heard.

You...died? And you no longer have a heart. The heart thing really doesn’t bother you, but  _ you died _ ? Suddenly, you don’t really want to think about it any more. You are saved from any further ruminations when you hear Xigbar’s voice above you.

“Y’know the puppy dog routine is cute and all, but I have other work to do, kid. I know I’m your new best friend and all, being that I’m the only bastard around here you’ve  _ spoken _ to at length, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine without me.”

You don’t exactly want to be alone with your thoughts right now, though. After what  _ could _ have been an awkward beat  _ were _ you able to feel shame, he holds up a finger.

“Ah! Why don't you swing by and meet Dem? He wouldn't stop  _ talking _ about the ‘new member’ when we first found you.”

He leans in dramatically and whispers, “that cat's got it all figured out.” He straightens back up and barks out a laugh. “As if. He's Number IX. If he's not in the Grey Room, he's in his own. You'll hear him before you see him. Good luck!” And with that, he lifts a hand to wave and walks away.

Dem? You can't say you know who that name belongs to. But you think back to that instrument you heard before. Is that what Xigbar meant by, ‘you'll hear him before you see him?’

You wonder what kind of person he is, as you walk the hallways back to the central room. Why would he care about seeing you? Was he able to  _ feel _ excited? Or is he just that dedicated to this cause? And what kind of person would go around playing music without a  _ heart _ ? You're not sure that you'll like him. Come to think of it, can you say you  _ like _ Xigbar? Putting aside the fact that you barely know him, you aren't sure you can form friendships like this. Even without feelings, the thought of being alone like that...it seems unnatural.

As you get closer to the Grey Room you realize it is silent. You enter the room, see a few bodies lounging about, and decide none of them are who you're looking for.

So you glide through the room, make a few turns, and make your way toward the...dormitory you suppose. You'd hesitate to truly call those  _ bedrooms _ .

Well, if the others’ are like yours.

And they're numbered, too. You suppose with this many rooms it could get confusing.

Your room is at the end of this hallway, with odds on the right and evens on the left. You walk slowly down the hallway, watching the numbers pass.

You make it to room V and start to wonder who  _ that  _ is when you start to hear a few sounds - he’s tuning it, if you had to guess. As you get closer, you can hear him humming and trying to match the strings to his voice.

You stop in front of his door, hesitating. After a moment, when you can't manage to find anything to feel anxious over, you knock on the door and only  _ just _ catch yourself from going ahead and opening it, too.

A comical  **_thud_ ** comes from inside the room, and, a second later, a voice says “Just a second!”

The next thing you know there’s a face in front of yours in the door. Green eyes meet yours, and a smile splits his face.

“Oh you’re the new guy, right??” In one fluid movement, he steps across his room, plants himself on his bed, and leans over to pick up the instrument he left recklessly on the floor.

His focus immediately turns back to the strings, but he still asks, “What are you doing here, dude?”

Before answering, you close the door behind you and come into the room. It’s actually got decorations around, not something you expected  _ anyone _ to go through the trouble of doing around here.

There’s a chair at a desk (covered in things), which you turn around and sit in.

“Well,” you begin speaking, unsure if he knows any sign, “Xigbar told me you...were excited to meet me?” You question the word choice of ‘excited,’ but the overly-cheery look on his face tells you it wasn’t the wrong choice after all.

“It’s Virrex, right? So, what do you remember? What’s your power? What’s your weapon like!?” The flurry of questions hits you so far off guard that you let out a laugh, almost on instinct. 

“I can sense the moves my opponent will take next.” You pull your spear out of the darkness, perfectly smooth and easy. It stands tall above you, and he looks at it intently for a few long moments.

He shrugs, and holds the instrument up in front of himself, pride showing on his face. “It's a sitar.  _ This _ is my weapon.”

You let yours go, and the darkness reclaims it with hardly a thought.

“How does it function in combat?” you question. So far all (two) of the weapons you've seen  _ look _ like weapons, but aside from bludgeoning someone -.

“I can control water when I play! I could even control the water in your body, if I wanted.” He starts strumming again without another word amd for a moment something that's  _ almost _ fear but not  _ quite _ strikes through you like lightening. You don't speak or move for a long several moments. 

The silence is broken when he laughs. A very different laugh than Xigbar's; this one has  _ feeling _ . “I  _ wouldn't _ though - be too much effort.” He continues focusing on the strings, and you think if this is what socialising is like around here, you'd  _ rather _ be alone with your thoughts.

You don't know how to excuse yourself so soon, though, so you just tell him you're tired after tour training, to which he gives you a cheerful smile and says, ‘see ya later!’ without even looking up.

You head back to your room and resolve to rearrange your furniture before falling asleep. You try to remember what your room was like before - you aren't sure you remember anything, but you make the room a bit cozier, anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway so 1. this is in fact gonna be a dem/reader fic (eventually.....) and 2. i really did almost write him bloodbending You basically but even tho i really wanted to i thought it would be out of character for him to go through with it (i don't doubt he could though) and this fic WILL feature heavily my headcannons for aspects that haven't specifically been touched by canon


	4. today's Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy this train is stil moving so ok i guess. things we accomplish in this chapter: axel, earning those ptsd/flashbacks tags, and kinda starting to have some plot
> 
> have fun and let me know what ya'll think!!

When you wake up and finally decide that you are ready to  _ do things _ , you head out into the Grey Room. That seems to be the thing to do, or at least it's what you did yesterday, so it's what you  _ know _ to do.

You find Saïx in the same spot with the same unamused look on his face.

You approach and he addresses you by number.

“XIII. You are assigned to accompany... _ VII _ today.” He gestures to a redhead sprawled out on one of the couches. “You are to accompany him on his mission and provide any assistance you can. The Superior is eager to see what you can do in  _ actual _ combat.”

You nod, not in the mood to engage, and walk over to the redhead, who jumps up at your approach with an insufferable smile on his face.

What is it with the people around here and their smiles? But maybe it's harder to smile without a heart.

“The name's  _ Axel _ . You the new brat they hired?”

You nod and sign absently, spelling your name for him.

To your mild surprise, he signs back. 

He shapes both hands and drags them down, then makes a motion with both arms, then brings both pointer fingers close together. [TODAY'S MISSION,] but that's all he seems to have in him. “...is pretty simple. We're just gonna go out to Wonderland and kill of some heartless.” He tilts his head. “Got it memorized?” 

You nod in response and he turns, raising his arm. There’s a similar distorted warbling sound as when Xigbar summed the heartless - and a door appears. Axel gestures for you to step through first. When you come out the other side, you are met with a strange forest, with giant plants that seem unearthly; reeds, trees, flowers, and tall mushrooms make the area difficult to see through easily. Anything could be hiding anywhere.

And...you're clearly far away from the castle.

Well. That explains why the hallways are always so empty. The other members must be able to use these doors to get around.

Axel appears, then the portal closes behind you with a static-y sound.

“Well, here we are,” he says. “Time to get killin’.” He pulls a set of chakrams out of the darkness, wreathed in flame. “You should probably pull out your weapon, too. Never know when these little shadowy bastards are gonna surface.”

You pull your spear out of the darkness and prepare yourself. Even though Xigbar had said you seemed to have a bit of battle instinct before, you have no real memories of fighting, and these things aren't going to pull their punches like he was.

“What exactly are we after? Those little black things?”

“Those are called  _ Shadows _ ,” he answers, walking forward and scanning the horizon, looking around bushes, “and while we will probably run into a few, they aren't what we're looking for. We're looking for these little guys that fly. They look like they wear triangular dresses? There's a few different kinds of ‘em though.

“Besides. I don't know how much the old man told you, but we’re all kinda  _ useless _ , just population control. To create Kingdom Hearts, the Heartless have to get got by this thing called a  _ Keyblade _ .”

The word strikes you, deep into your chest where your memories are buried.

(Hands; holding something; a blue-silver rod-)

(A warm smile;.a friend; a  _ companion _ -)

(Alone - alonealone _ alonealone _ **_alone   a l o n e_ ** -)

You come back to your senses on your own, blinking wide eyes. You realize you had dropped your spear, and you pick it back up.

Axel has a look of concern on his face, but he says nothing. He holds up a hand, [OK?]

You don't understand his concern, but you nod anyway.

The two of you continue searching through the undergrowth, when you get a strange sensation. You know where the heartless is.

You stalk slowly in the direction you can feel it in - and it isn't long at all before you see the little things. You lunge swiftly at one, whistling once you're close enough that it won't be able to get away. Axel seems to get the hint, as, a second later, one of his chakrams comes flying through the grasses. 

He has a smirk as he himself practically  _ dances _ into the fight.

Each individual creature seems week, but there’s about a dozen of them and two of you. Axel's clearly a pro - each throw tends to hit a few heartless through its path. There are several of the kind you're looking for, and a few Shadows, as well as things that look like Shadows with armour.

You aren't entirely sure how to best utilize your spear against these foes - whether you should try to copy Axel’s idea and smack down a few at a time, more like a staff, or if you should just try to get solid hits on individual heartless with the tip, where it can do the most damage.

Lunging and dodging come most naturally to you, and you're light enough on your feet to move relatively quickly for such a heavy weapon. Not nearly as quickly as Axel.

You think you want to overanalyze the fight, like that's what you're used to, but you can't react quickly enough while deep in thought like this - it really is quite different from the sparring you did with Xigbar.

At the very least you try to watch Axel, learn a bit from his movements. You are forced to make an uncomfortably quick turn to dodge the claw of a an armoured Shadow. You wince, but Axel has you covered, already throwing a chakram through the space you just were.

You don't have the easiest time of it, but after a few more minutes you manage to get the last of the heartless down, each one disintegrating into darkness as you do.

Once the fight is over you make a quick scan of the area, to be absolutely certain you're safe, and take a deep breath. Your breathing is just a bit haggard, but you are none the worse for wear. Axel lets his chakrams go but you keep a tight hold on your spear.

(Tight; a choking grasp; knuckles turning white-)

(Fear, coursing through you; adrenaline like fire in your veins-)

(Red; and black; and darkness-)

(You can feel him pulling you closer; you are nothing without him;  _ nobody _ -)

You are suddenly overcome with the  _ need _ to be somewhere else, you don't know where but an image flashes in your head of a golden sunset. You can feel that  _ he _ is there, even if you don't know who  _ he _ is.

The next thing you know, you are on your knees on the ground, your spear is nowhere in sight, and Axel is on the ground in front of you, the look of concern from before now back with a vengeance, halfway to agony.

He looks like he wants to reach out to you, but once he notices your eyes clear, he signs rapidly. He gestures to his head then brings the hand down, and then makes a circle with his finger, [REMEMBER SOMETHING?] and then holds his hand in a circle, [OK?]

You feel even more exhausted than you were at the end of your fight, so you sign your response. You point to yourself then draw your hand down, finishing with your fingers in a circle, [I'M OK.] You shift your hands in front of yourself, [MAYBE?] You pause, fidgeting, unsure of what to say next. Slowly, you point at your chest, then your eyes, and then make a gesture with your arms, one hand cupped in a ‘c’ and falling below the other, [I SAW A SUNSET.] You don't yet  _ understand _ any of it, but that much seems harmless enough.

He nods and lets you stand up on your own. This proves to be a mistake, but you call your spear to your hand before you fall and use it to catch yourself.

Axel's expression goes back to a cocky smile, clearly over the momentary worry.

He waves his hand to call a portal next to himself. “I'll go report to ol’ Saïx. You get some rest.” He stares at you for a second before dismissing his portal.

He sighs, as if inconvenienced by having to show you the ropes  _ himself _ . “Just focus on where you want to be, picture it,  _ feel _ it,” he can't seem to keep down a chuckle at his ‘joke,’ “and pull that place to you. There's darkness between every world, and we're already Nobodies, so the darkness can't hurt us.”

He shrugs and waits for you to make an attempt. You are tired, so it seems easiest to think of your bed, even though it isn't particularly warm, or soft, it's yours, and there's something about that that strikes you as odd.

You raise your hand just as he had done, and try to imagine what it would be like if it was just in front of you -

The darkness coalesces in front of you, slowly at first, but once there's enough of it, it expands rather quickly. Axel gives you a nod and calls his own portal back, walking through without another word.

It feels strange once you step into the darkness, like being deep underwater. There's a heavy pressure in the air surrounding you, and you almost feel like you can hear whispers, or movement, or  _ some _ thing, just out of sight.

You keep a hold of your spear and walk quickly through the darkness, toward your white room, and, more importantly, your bed.

You fall face first onto it and lose consciousness almost immediately. You do not dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like letting the org members say cusses it makes me feel good inside
> 
> ((also are the descriptions of the signs like. Too Much™, bc i love them as a nonverbal individual, but also like. idk if YA'LL like em))


	5. some Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so last week I was hosting my brother. this chapter WAS gonna be later but it's pretty long so I split it so I could post now. today we get intimidated by xemnas because, let's face it, even though a 14 year old kicked his ass, he's probably pretty scary in person.
> 
> enjoy!

When you wake up, you are still exhausted, and a sense of unease washes over you as you stare at the ceiling.

You think it has to do with that... _thing_ that happened yesterday. Was that a fucking _memory_ ? What _was_ it?

...It was _awful_ is what it was. You could _feel_ and it was _horrifying_.

You almost don't know if you want your heart back.

Almost.

And worse, _who_ was the one you felt so drawn to?

And where is he. How do you get to him?

You shake your head and sit up quickly to give yourself a shock. You decide to get dressed, first of all, and notice a slip of paper in front of your door.

It says you are to report to The Superior at your earliest convenience. You sigh and roll your shoulders. Is it your earliest convenience _now_ though? Can you put it off any longer?

The exhaustion rings in your bones and you make the choice to get it over with now so you can - maybe - rest after with no worries.

Or at least as few as possible.

You finish dressing yourself, and head to who-knows-where, hair down and hood up. You try to conjure a portal, at first, but you realize you don't know where you're going; although you've been in that office you don't know if that's even where you're going so you can't seem to focus quite right. You'll have to work on that.

In the meantime you simply wander the halls, listening closely for any sign of Him.

You still don't actually know his name (at least you're fairly certain you'd never heard it), and you absolutely don't know anything _about_ him.

You don't have a reason to _want_ to know more about him, either, though. Briefly you think you should, since he knows so much about you, but you just don't _care_.

You approach a door down a corridor you haven't really explored much, in a different wing of the castle than the dormitories.

You know that throne room is _somewhere_ around this wing, but it's a much bigger door than this one, which is more or less the same as all the other doors in the castle.

It has just about as much of a chance to get you where you need to be as any other unknown door. You approach to knock, but as you do so the door opens.

Saïx exists the room like he'd rather be anywhere else, glaring at you as he walks past.

You hear the familiar voice before you actually look at him, caught up in watching Saïx's near-sprint.

“Come in.” The words are said with a smile behind them, the same way he always seems to speak.

He is sitting at a desk with neat stacks of paper on it. You try not to pry (not really), but you see numbers and names, and pages of complex math. You can't look long enough to begin understanding it, you aren't brave or stupid enough to get caught staring.

You're _going_ to stay standing, but then he gestures for you to sit and you think he may never speak and get this over with if you don't sit.

Once you do settle into the chair across from him, he begins, hands clasped together.

“So, Number XIII. I hear you had an... _enlightening_ first mission.”

You keep your breathing steady and your expression neutral - you find it fairly easy to do, even though the idea of this man knowing about your episode yesterday _screams_ danger.

If Axel already reported it there's no helping that, but in case he didn’t you have no intention of telling him yourself.

You nod and bring your hands up to sign, but he gives you a look that makes you think better of it, only for a half of a second before the pleasant smile returns.

So it seems he doesn't care about letting the façade slip a little, at least in front of you. Or he knows you've already guessed. You'll just have to keep _him_ guessing on that.

Either way you settle your hands and begin speaking. “Yes, I believe I have learned more about my ability….” You didn't mention it to Axel, but maybe he noticed?

He perks up at this and makes a gesture. “Do go on.”

“Even outside of combat…. I could tell where the Heartless would be before I  saw it.”

He nods. “We do have a member who can sense the heartless. Like a smell.”

It wasn't like a sensation exactly, was it? It was more like…. “It was more like I just _knew_ it ahead of time. Like I was just remembering it.”

You can tell he finds this peculiar, but his gaze is calculated.

He changes the subject entirely. “I think it may be about time for you to receive your Title, every one of our rank has one.” He seems to think for a moment. “The Piercing Oracle.” His smile widens. It reminds you of a snake. “How do you like that?”

You don't really care, and you're too busy trying to examine his smile, so you just nod.

He clasps his hands on his desk. “Good. Well, _Piercing Oracle_ , hmm? Your training appears to be going quite well. You will serve many purposes for us, for our _cause_. You have the day off. Continue to prove your worth, XIII. You are dismissed.”

The day off? You turn, slightly stunned, and exit the room. You make for the Grey Room, not sure what you would do with a day off. You don't exactly have any hobbies - you aren't even sure if you _can_ enjoy anything anymore - and you've hardly come out of your coma.

Three days, you think. Feels like much more.

You've got… - friends? - you suppose. You think that Axel likes you, at least, based on how well that meeting went.

You see him in the Grey Room when you get there, lounging on a couch, taking up space.

As you walk in, he lights up and waves. “Ah, just the Nobody I wanted to see!”

You see Saïx shake his head out of the corner of your eye.

Axel hops up off of the couch and swaggers up to. “Busy? No? Good, c'mon.” He all but drags you off down a corridor. Once he's determined you're suitably alone (this includes checking the ceiling), his demeanor becomes just a touch more serious.

“So. How did your meeting with the Superior go?”

You put one palm skyward, and raise the other hand above it. [ALRIGHT.] You pause, fidgeting for a few moments. Blessedly, Axel doesn’t say anything before you figure out what you want to convey. You put up both hands in a sort of shrug, point to him, your chin [WHAT DID YOU TELL], then you awkwardly point in the vague direction of the man in question. Axel seems to get the idea, at least.

He spells something out with careful gestures. [X-E-M-N-A-S.] He makes a sarcastic sound and leans against a wall. You’re not sure where you are - you don’t see any doors around here. “I didn’t tell _him_ anything useful.” Noticing the look on your face, he rolls his eyes and continues. “I didn’t tell _anyone_ anything useful. _Anyway_ , all I told him was that you seemed to have picked up a lot during that fight.”

You don’t know if you believe him. He won’t look you in the eye.

Then again, can Nobodies feel anxiety or guilt for lying? Maybe he’s just trying to confuse you.

But then he does look at you, albeit out of the corner of his eye. When he speaks, his voice is even lower. “I take it you realized it might not be the best thing to talk about? Yeah, it’s best to just forget about anything you remember. It’s a new life!” He makes a grand gesture and then laughs. “Or something like that. Anyway, just know that Saïx tells ol’ Xemnas everything, and I wouldn’t trust half of our members are far as I could spit ‘em. _Especially_ Xigbar. Demyx is alright, at least.

“But, seriously? My advice is just to forget about it. You can’t feel anything from that life anymore anyway. Just have fun.” He shrugs and starts to walk back the way the two of you came from.

“Just thought I’d give you a word of advice. Oh, and enjoy the day off! They don’t happen very often.” He raises a hand in parting, and you are left to consider his words.

Forget about what you just remembered?

Even if you can’t feel anything….

You need to figure it out. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh plot, perhaps, next chapter (and zexion). also. just...so ya'll know i have about 13 chapters outlined so far. i'm terrified and i don't know where the plot is going. please send help.


	6. to Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahem. i uh. _didn't_ die, somehow? honestly i've been sitting on unedited chapters for a bit, i've been on my bullshit so, y'know. but er, next chapter's super short so it'll be going up right after this one, and there should be at least two more chapters after that in the near future.
> 
> no worries ya'll, this thing is gonna keep going until at LEAST ch 13 at this point.
> 
> \---
> 
> in this chapter, we meet zexion and vexen! Good Luck

It’s that thought, that  _ somehow _ , that propels you through the grounds. You don't know what you're looking for, but you feel you'll know it when you find it.

You pass several unmarked doors that don't seem exciting enough to hold the answers you want. In a wing of the castle you haven't explored, tucked in a back corner, you find a staircase.

Up and down.

You choose down. There's nothing to keep you from doing so, though it seems dimly lit down there, from what you can tell.

Descending the steps you find it growing much colder than seems reasonable.

You have no idea what awaits you, but as you reach the bottom you smell something strange. Like bleach and ammonia?

There is a sound; the shuffling of cloth, and the tapping of soft shoes on tile.

A man not much taller than you - strange, in this group of giants - runs past you and presses something freezing into the palm of your hand.

“Don't drop that, XIII!” he calls as he continues to run past, his voice timid despite the volume.

You bring the object up to the light - it's a beaker, frosted over with ice. Something vaguely blue-green swirls slowly in the glass.

You think about sniffing it for half a second until some long unused instinct in you says that's an awful idea.

Instead you just move it around in the light. You have no idea what it might be for.

Another moment later and you hear the steps returning, still at a decent pace.

He slides to a stop in front of you and snatches the beaker from your hand, wrapping it in some kind of cloth.

In moments the ice steams off of the glass.

He sighs.

“VIII, Zexion.” He doesn't look at you, studying the beaker as he speaks. “This isn't how I'd intended for us to meet.” He starts walking further in, gesturing for you to follow.

He leads you through the corridors to a lab. A number of unfamiliar machines sit around the room, a  _ much _ taller man with long blonde hair focusing intently on the read-out of one in particular.

Zexion walks over to a table with several other beakers, filled with fluids of various colors and viscosities. He unwraps the beaker in his hand and arranges it among the others, studying the lot for a moment before looking to you again.

“You're XIII, Virrex, yes? Sorry about that rushed introduction. What are you doing down here? I don't think we asked to be assigned an assistant, though we value the help.”

You sign, careful not to touch anything in the cramped space. You cup your hands and move them in front of yourself as if climbing, [EXPLORING.] You look around a bit, and then bring your hands up as fists, tapping your finger and thumb on each hand. You point toward him, then point down and move your hands in flat circles, palms up in front of your chest,  [WHAT DO YOU DO DOWN HERE?]

“We do a lot of research for the superior. About hearts, and darkness. As well as simple alchemy. Making potions and such.”

That's very  _ interesting _ \- first of all that that Xemnas is doing research on hearts at all (what has he found that he doesn't say), but also that, perhaps here you can find some answers.

But you think about what Axel said. Asking Zexion, or the other one, still buried in his work, could be more trouble than it's worth. But you'd like to see their findings, at least.

You make a thoughtful gesture and pull your fists down in front of you, before pointing to yourself. You point to your eyes, then gesture toward him with your palm, before swiping two fingers across one palm. [MAY I SEE YOUR RESEARCH?] You add a quick loop with one finger, [SOMETIME.]

His expression only barely changes, like he cant put forth the effort to make it look  _ real _ , but his eyes narrow. “Why?”

You think you're pretty good at the poker face game, given your success earlier in the day. You sign slowly, deliberately.

You bring your hand up to your throat and make a wiggling gesture. [CURIOUS.] You point out the thumb and pinky of one hand and move it back and forth, point to yourself, then make grabbing gestures with your palms up, before taking one hand from the other palm to your head, and finally touching both sets of closed fingers together, [AND I WANT TO LEARN MORE.] You point to yourself, then make two fists and pull them down, before placing one fist, thumb up, on the other hand, palm up, [SO I CAN HELP.]

He nods after a few moments. “Typically it is Vexen,” he gestures to the man in the corner, “who is down here. If he is not busy you can ask him to let you look around. If I am here, I will let you as well. Right now he is occupied or I would introduce you.”

You nod, perhaps a bit too fervently, but he doesn't seem put off by it.

“In fact, I have some work to do as well. Thank you for your help XIII.”

You nod and wave, and turn to head back up the stairs.

You haven't really learned anything, not  _ yet _ , but now you  _ know _ it's possible.

In the meantime - you still feel the need to pick apart that memory.

Axel had said Demyx would be safe to talk to, right? So you meander the corridors, listening for the sound of his sitar.

What can you say to him? What can  _ he _ say to  _ you _ ? You aren't sure if this will be of  _ any _ benefit. But he was curious about your memories before, wasn't he? So at least he'll probably...enjoy it.

Or something.

You finally hear him, thankfully in the dorm hall; you wouldn't have wanted to drag him out of the Grey Area.

Especially not in front of Saïx.

You knock on the door and an almost perfect replica of the first time occurs - the sitar falling on the ground and all.

He presses his face to the crack, green eyes only inches above your own.

A grin splits his face and he invites you in.

"Virrex! I heard you had a fun mission!" He practically leaps onto his bed, not even bothering to pick the sitar up. He crosses his legs and leans forward - it gives you the impression of a child, waiting for a bedtime story. "Well,  _ actually _ , nobody really heard  _ any _ thing, but, we knew you couldn't make your report. Saïx was barking up a storm at Axel!"

He laughs. Giggles, really.

You don't get the joke.

  
For just a brief moment the image of that sunset cracks through your mind, and you can feel a darkness shadow your face. Your face is back to neutral too quickly for him to notice, you think, and you attempt a small smile.   
  
It feels fake, but if it looks that way, he doesn't say so.   
  
You sit down across from him, and ready your hands for a moment before you begin. "I learned a lot more from watching Axel than sparring with Xigbar, at any rate." You look down at your hands, thoughtful.   
  
You hold them up, very deliberately showing the signs. You want to be able to have these kinds of conversations silently, at some point.   
  
"I...remembered something."   
  
You point to yourself, shoving your fingers against your chest in an exaggerated motion, then put a thumb to your forehead, before bringing that hand down to meet the other, and end with a loop with one finger.   
  
You aren't sure if he understands the reason, exactly, why you want him to learn the signs, but he reflects back to you. He points at you, then the thumb to forehead, then to fist, and says "What did you remember?"   
  
You show him to say ‘what,’ by curling his hands in and tapping his fingers to his thumbs.   
  
You start to sign [I DON'T KNOW,] but you stop yourself. "I remembered someone."   
  
His eyes practically sparkle with excitement and he leans even further forward. "Who!?"   
  
You shake your head. "I don't know, exactly. I could...feel. something. though. I could feel  _ him _ . I think he's...out there somewhere."   
  
At that he leaps off of the bed and plants his hands firmly on your shoulders. There's a strange look in his eyes, more serious than you think you've ever seen him. Somehow it doesn't look that out of place. "Are you going after him?" His voice is just a little lower, a little quieter, but with just as much excitement as before.   
  
It hadn't fully occurred to you that you could just. Go after him. You could use a portal, even if he's on another world, you're sure you can make it at least most of the way there with just the image of that sunset to focus you -   
  
But you can't, really, can you? You don't know enough. There's information here. If you leave you may never find anything out. You'll know who he is and maybe he can tell you everything…. But he might know nothing.

  
He might not even remember you.   
  
When you look up from your thoughts he's crouched down to eye level, just calmly waiting for your response, having picked the sitar up off the floor.   
  
"I don't...I don't think so. Not yet."   
  
He nods, although you hesitate to call it sagely, he does seem almost...comforting, here. But you suppose he does practice emotions more than (probably) anyone else here.   
  
"Do you want to?"   
  
The question catches you off guard. For all his excitement at the idea of you going, and you'd said not yet - but he's onto something.   
  
Do you want to?   
  
You never thought about it. If you...died.... Does he even want to see you again? Could you even be together without a beating heart? You don't even actually know who he is to you.   
  
You shrug, the exhaustion of deep though settling in to you.   
  
You tell him you're going to bed, and you reach out for a handshake. He, of course, takes it, but pulls you into a hug. It feels...hollow. It's unexpected, but you guess even if he's good at acting, you're still dead.   



	7. the Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy SHIT it's the plot!!!
> 
> also i s2g this is probably going to be the best scene in this entire thing bc i'm a horror author by trade and this is much closer to what i normally write, so i guess ya'll can go home now if you want

That sunset,  _ again _ . The bright colors evoke  _ something _ , something you can actually  _ feel _ . There's darkness, and so many whispering voices envelop you.   
  
You strain, try to make something out of the directionless chaos, but to no avail. You are drowning in this empty pressure. Your lungs feel like they are half full of smoke - you can breathe, but it  _ hurts  _ and your lungs feel  _ full  _ and  _ heavy _ .   
  
You are going to drown and there's nothing you can do about it but  _ suddenly _ , suddenly a voice cuts through. You can't make out what it  _ says  _ but you can  _ hear  _ it. You can  _ feel  _ it.   
  
A few moments pass where you feel weightless, and then the sunset.  _ Again _ .   
  
But this time it's solid, it has form and purpose. There's a skyline - buildings raising against the sunset, cutting sharp silhouettes that make you feel nostalgic. A clock-tower, generic, stands high above all else, and you can't place what it makes you feel. Something...heavy.  _ Crushing _ .   
  
Before you can fall into that weight again, you hear the voice, laughing, directly to your left.   
  
_ I'm here. _   
  
When you see their face, clearly, for the first time?   
  
You are overcome with a joy so raw that the tears start falling before you even manage to wrap your arms around them.   
  
You feel complete in a way you could never have comprehended before.   
  
They grab you by the hand and start pulling, all smiles, no voice.   
  
The gestures are there; are practiced. You know they would be signing to you - but you don't need any words. You understand each other instinctively.   
  
They lead you through white cobblestone roads, dappled with the colors of the now fading sunset.   
  
You can see confetti all over the ground, mostly swept to the side but still everywhere.    
  
It's from the parade a few days ago. A week ago?   
  
You're getting closer to the clock-tower; at this distance you can see the stained glass behind the arms of the clock.   
  
You can't make out the design, the light shining through the glass is dazzlingly bright, somehow, and it seems to keep shifting, just slightly, but enough to make you dizzy.   
  
It makes you think of a sky so bright it burns white.   
  
The alleys they lead you through feel familiar, though you can't seem to figure out where they're leading you.   
  
Eventually they stop, and turn to you. You're in an alley, two-story homes on either side and a stone wall cutting the alley off behind them.   
  
They take both of your hands in theirs and smile at you. The only thing you can hear is the wind.   
  
_ I'm waiting. _   
  
Your adventure continues well into the evening, exploring alleys, climbing around the clock-tower - this place is so  _ familiar _ . You've been here for so  _ long _ .   
  
\---   
  
When you awake, you remember nothing of your dream, not at first.   
  
You lay in bed for a few moments, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what feels different and why, when you hear the voice so clearly in your head,  _ I'm here _ , and your heart drops into your stomach and stops beating.   
  
You startle upright and gasp, your  _ heart  _ -   
  
You can't tell this to anyone. Ever.


	8. time Passes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ya'll here's the rest of what's already done (tho the next chapter is already underway so it _should_ be up in a few days). this is just a nice little chapter, things will start to really ramp up next chapter!
> 
> enjoy, ya'll, thanks for stickin around! o/

Time passes, as it is wont to do.   
  
You are assigned a few simple find-and-destroy missions which pass by without incident, and you've begun to contemplate more deeply  _ what _ it is you are.   
  
It's impossible to get a solid answer out of anyone - you think maybe you could get something out of Vexen if you could get him to speak to you but he's rarely inclined to do so, it seems.   
  
Zexion must know, too, you think, but he seems to be hiding something. You think he might be keeping it back for leverage.   
  
You can't say you could blame him.   
  
But you suppose, also, even they may not know that much. If there are truly so few of you....   
  
Most importantly, you don't know how  _ time _ will affect you. If you'll keep aging, or -   
  
You aren't sure you want to be immortal, especially like this. It seems like it would be...unpleasant.   
  
For now, lacking of any real answers, you continue to follow orders almost as if you care. It's really just something to  _ do _ , though, and you even manage to get in some exercise when you aren't on missions.   
  
You'd been asked to spar with Marluxia, a fellow you'd hardly spoken to before now. He seemed...a bit too arrogant for your tastes. But, it had been decided that you and he would make excellent sparring partners.   
  
Apparently your techniques and speed are similar, and you both wield polearms, more or less. Not a great challenge in some ways, but a good exercise nonetheless.   
  
You can understand the point of it - to examine the weaknesses of your own style through a mirror, basically.   
  
You glance around the courtyard and sigh, now deciding that he's  _ definitely  _ late. You know this is unofficial and he doesn't really  _ need _ to be on time, but it doesn't help matters.   
  
Just as you have that thought, though, he comes sauntering out of a portal, a pleased smile on his face, just like always.   
  
He speaks slowly - not just to you, but it's as if he thinks what he has to say is more important than anything else you might be doing with your time.   
  
"Are you...ready, XIII?"   
  
It's rhetorical; he's already pulling his scythe out of the darkness and you'd  _ expected _ that,  _ known _ it, so you're already doing the same.   
  
Regardless of this he manages to catch you off guard with his initial strike, his scythe reaching farther than it seemed it would.   
  
He doesn't connect - you're smaller and just a bit faster than him - but it does manage to knock you off balance.   
  
You make a mental note that you really need to work on your stance, but you do the best you can to readjust for now, using the weight of your spear to regain your balance.   
  
He takes another fluid strike at you, practically twirling the scythe in his hands.   
  
You use your cross-guard to catch the curve of his blade it as it comes toward you and try to throw him off balance to strike, but that is a  _ mistake _ \- you make the motions but find yourself stuck, and realize far too late that he is much stronger than he looks, and he widens his stance slightly, and uses the lock of your weapons to push you down into the dirt.   
  
You resist the force as best you can, but he gets you down to one knee and draws back to swipe.   
  
It's a tight spot, but you drop, letting your spear dissipate while you roll under the scythe.   
  
You roll  _ toward _ him, hoping to get close enough to make his scythe unwieldy, pull out your spear, and lunge in a single motion once you right yourself.   
  
It's not a full lunge - you are also impacted by the close quarters, but your spear isn't as big as his scythe.   
  
You manage to get your blade under his neck before he can get his scythe turned around on you, and you step apart from each other after a single tense moment.   
  
You  _ know _ he was going easy on you, you can almost... _ smell _ how strong he is. And besides, he is  _ still  _ wearing that casually self-satisfied smile, despite having lost the round.   
  
You both prepare for round two, wordlessly.   
  
He gives you a moment, though, to catch your breath, before he swings his scythe at you, from a different angle and faster than before.   
  
A tingling in the back of your mind lets you know when he's about to strike, and this time you know better than you try to catch the scythe. Instead you prioritize changing the direction of his swing.   
  
It's much easier to divert his force that attempt to stop it, but he has excellent guard form - he keeps the stem of his scythe in front of him too carefully for you to land a hit, though he lets you make a few thrusts without countering.   
  
The fourth time he shrugs you off you realize you're going to need to do something different, and all of a sudden you have an instinct - duck and strike toward the right.   
  
You hesitate to follow it at first, the feeling so foreign, and so the timing is off and your blade merely thrusts itself past his hair.   
  
He takes the opportunity to beat the back of his scythe against your back, knocking you down to all fours.   
  
The blow leaves you stunned and out of breath, and it's just for effect that he swings the blade of his scythe up under your throat before letting it recede into the darkness.   
  
He extends a hand to help you up, and he at least doesn't look any  _ more _ self-satisfied than before.   
  
"You certainly seem to be improving, XIII. Have you been practicing?"   
  
You shrug and lazily sign, pointing at yourself, making a grabbing gesture toward yourself. You then touch your hand to your mouth and make a thumbs-up, and then move one hand in a circle above the other. Finally, you place your palm on your chest and bring a clawed hand to your other arm. [I'M GETTING BETTER AT USING MY POWER.] It's more instinct and muscle memory than drills, but he doesn't need to know that.   
  
You can't stop thinking about some of the mechanical aspects of combat as well, things like your stance, that really could use some instruction, but you think you're done sparring with Marluxia for now. You have better things to do.   
  
"Well, we make a good match after all, don't you think? I'd love to spar again with you some time, XIII, but I do need to get going for now."   
  
You nod and offer an honestly pathetic wave as he exits the courtyard through a portal.   
  
You begin to head inside, absently wondering if Demyx is playing his sitar in the Grey Area.   
  
When you get there, you don't see him right away, but you do feel a bit of exhaustion creeping into you from the sparring, so you tuck yourself into one of the couches and decide to relax a bit.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly don't hate marly, i don't know what possessed me for this chapter. next chapter is a mission with dem tho, so let's. see how that goes.


End file.
